Is This Emotional Resilience?

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Unless you follow my Insta-stories, you won't know the full extent of my week last week - just topped off by my whole blog vanishing which means I have to start over again - Argh! So lets make this one a bit shorter..

Saturday - Was on a panel at The Mother Yarns in Christchurch with Rebecca Keil. The family came with me and we caught up with friends and whanau while up there.

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Sunday - Getting ready for the week ahead, housework, groceries and chill-time.

Monday - Two of our dogs went AWOL while I picked up the kids, dropped them to my lovely sister-in-law while Dave and I presented on Virtual Insight for Education at a NZ Young Farmers and Agrication event in Timaru. We both had turns looking for the dogs that evening with no luck.

Tuesday - Kids dropped to school and kindy, hunt for the dogs continued followed by some work and 23 hours after they went missing the two dogs emerged from the dense bush up the road, wet, tired and hungry!

After a largely wasted day I picked up the kids and got home to have one hour left to get ready to go away for 2 nights for the ANZCO Being Bold for Change Conference in Christchurch.

That evening I was planning on going to dinner with two high school friends who had also left the bright, foggy, traffic filled lights of Auckland for Canterbury. By 7:05pm, my plans changed...

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  1. Yes, I'm OK
  2. No, the airbags didn't go off
  3. Yes it looks like the car is going to be fixable (surprisingly)
  4. Yes I carried on up to Christchurch
  5. Picture this - Roadworks, four separate nose-to-tails involving 9 cars. I was in number 3 and the guy from number 2 ran out in front of my car on the highway which distracted me.
  6. Yes I was super pissed off and the steering wheel got very vocally abused
  7. Yes we are fully insured thank ****
  8. Yes Dave told all the family in a hurry meaning I was fielding panicked calls on the side of the road in the dark while navigating tow trucks, police and a busy highway

So well, that threw quite the spanner in the works considering my productive, positive and great sense of self and accomplishment in the weeks prior!

I was very lucky to have got a ride with the lady in the car in front of me, who also happened to be an agribusiness professional, to Rolleston where my brother and his fiance jumped into action within milliseconds and met me there to take me to my conference accommodation at the Commodore (lovely spot by the way!). I decided to largely tell no one so I didn't have to answer questions for the next 24 hours.

Wednesday - Up bright and breezy for a breakfast meeting with my co-speakers in the health and wellbeing section of the conference before heading to the venue feeling slightly more subdued than the days previous. I was in and out of the event for a large part of the morning as I juggled insurance phone calls with construction loan bank calls .

I spoke mid afternoon and then spent the next couple of days trying to remember what I said, what I forgot to day, all the things I should have added but I had made the decision to open my talk with a disclaimer about the day before and to excuse my slightly lack-lustre performance followed by a great night out run by Lisa O'Neill surrounded by 150 agri-women at the beautiful cardboard cathedral.

Thursday - Another great conference day with the highlight of listening to Traci Houpapa speak followed by grabbing a ride with friends back to Temuka to borrow a car which is the first time I've been grateful that the bestie is away travelling the world which means she is still saving my ass on the other side of the globe and I in turn am driving around in a heavily sign written Subaru!! Thanks Sarah x (Our Home Sweet World)

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Friday - A quiet day and a date with Miss Izzy followed by a quiet night in and a slightly demure tone as the week catches up with me. Travelling, conferences and speaking all mentally drain me and this event was no exception with some added features!

Saturday - A bit tetchy and irritable, tired and drained while Dave worked. I insisted on a quiet movie night in with the kids.

Sunday - Tired, grizzly, the house is a mess which is scrambling my brains. I dropped the kids to Nana's while I grabbed some groceries, picked them up and stopped by the farm to see Dave and he caught my vibe and was home two hours later.

Seeing me storming around cleaning the house he had the foresight to play rugby with the kids outside and give me some space before coming in and gave the house a big team effort clean up tidying bedrooms, washing and the rest. As the house decluttered, so did my head thankfully and I started to look forwards at the week, planned meals and prepped for meetings.

Monday - AND SHE'S BACK! Thank god for that. Back in the zone, back on a high, back focused on what I am trying to achieve.

 

The reason I'm giving you the run down here is to show you that life IS a rollercoaster, my life isn't all scenery photos, adventures and rainbows. There are always endless amounts of ups and downs but if you can maintain some form of emotional resilience, you won't stay down for long.

 

Expect the unexpected:

I have goals, a career focus and a general direction but every day, every week, the finer details are unexpected. Phone calls, emails and meetings giving ideas, opportunities and further connections happen every day. Through this last 10 days I have understood that my way of thinking has changed a lot in the past year. I have become able to deal with setbacks and not get caught up on them. This is how it appears to go for me, maybe it can help you too?

- Situation happens.

- Understand situation.

- Understand that what has happened can't be changed.

- Understand that you need to then move forward.

- Allow yourself to sulk but don't ever allow yourself to get lost there.

- Make a game plan or consciously go with the flow.

- Be patient with yourself.

- Start to breathe again.

- Get your routine back, get planning.

- Focus on the big picture, the big goals, what really matters.

- Write down what IS going right (Our construction loan was approved, no one got hurt, car is fixable, insurance will cover, I was alone in the car etc)

- Get back to kicking ass, don't look back.

 

I'd be very interested in hearing what techniques you use to keep you from getting caught up in a crappy situation and moving forwards! Pop a comment below or on the Facey post x